I just feel like I need a cuddle.
After 8 weeks of constant sickness and nausea I'd started to feel better and now I've got a stinking cold. The sickness is back and I just feel so blooming useless.
Started feeling a bit upset last night when OH got a phonecall inviting us out to a dinner dance on Saturday night and I said we could go for the dinner but I couldn't cope with two late nights out in a row (we've already got plans for Friday night). I just felt like such a drag... he's been so good to me in the last 12 weeks and all I do is moan. I really don't mean to. I'm delighted to be pregnant and so excited about meeting my baby next year. I just expected this all to be so much easier.
I'd already planned to stop work at Christmas but since I'm off this week and she's already got her replacement childminder lined up I'm thinking about just finishing now. It would be such a relief as the thought of going back makes me want to cry...if only money wasn't such a worry.
It doesn't help that OH came home on Wednesday night and said his boss is talking about closing the business after Christmas. I've known it was a possibility for a long time and it wouldn't be a disaster: OH would be entitled to his redudancy which would keep him going until he could set up elsewhere and I really think he'd be happier working with tools again as a joiner rather than managing a company where he's got all the responsibility and none of the control. I think I'd even be happy about it if he wasn't so stressed about it. I just don't feel like I can cope with anybody elses worries at the minute and I have no patience for him worrying about what if's
I know I'm very lucky really... and I'd put up with anything in the world to meet my baby next year. I'll blame the hormones for now... and go back to bed for a little cry
Thursday, 3 December 2009
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