I wish I knew how much of what I'm feeling is the end of the flu I had last week and how much is being pregnant... I can hardly keep my head up!! I work Wed, Thurs, Fri and every night this week I was in bed by 7.30 and asleep by 8!! I keep telling DOH it's hard work growing a baby!!
He's finally getting his head around the idea and we've been having lots of conversations about how we think people will react and what sort of Dad he will be. I'm pretty confident about becoming a Mum, but he's terrified... I wonder if it's because his Dad was so unwell all during his childhood - I kind of think that he missed out on being well parented and that will make it harder for him to get his head around the idea. I still think he'll be a great dad though.
I've made arrangements with my mum to see her tomorrow for lunch and I'm going to tell her then. I'm hoping that she'll be delighted for me... I realised today that I'll be 25 when I become a Mum, same as she was when she had me.
There's the doorbell.. must run
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Monday, 21 September 2009
My grain of rice...
The official line:
This week you will be able to take a pregnancy test. You may know you are pregnant if you have done an early test, but will probably not be experiencing morning sickness yet. However you may notice other signs of pregnancy such as changes to your sense of smell. A plug of mucus has sealed your cervix.
Nice!! 48 hours after receiving the news and I think this morning my DOH may have started to come to terms with it... it's been really funny all weekend as I've been slightly obsessive and everytime I've mentioned it his face has gone completely white, and he's spent quite a lot of the weekend in the bathroom...this morning though he definately seems happier about it.
Last night I first 'felt' something different.... we were lying on the sofa watching x factor when I started getting sensations in my boobs!!! How bizarre is that?! It was kind of like little electric shocks behind my nipples...
I'm still trying not to get too 'attached' to my little bean growing inside me... my period isn't even due until tomorrow and it's still very possible that if the hormone levels aren't high enough, that could be the end of it... I just keep praying though. I do believe that God created me this little life so it's up to him to look after it...
It's incredible knowning what's going on in there...
Your baby's brain and the rest of the nervous system have started to develop. Your baby is gently floating in amniotic fluid. The nose, eyes and hands are forming and basic hand 'plates' are present. The heart is now beating strongly at twice your own rate. Blood vessels have formed and a tiny umbilical cord has connected itself to the rapidly developing placenta. Your baby measures around the length of a grain of rice.
Amusingly I've been asked to consider taking two of the elderly people i care for to Portugal next May... it made me nearly burst knowing that by then I'll be days away (God willing) to giving birth!!
I took MIL out on Saturday morning and she was talking about how this Christmas is going to be the best ever and I very nearly told her then, but I'm going to try and restrain myself for another 6-8 weeks or so. I know they're going to be over the moon.
Til later... I suspect I'll be updating quite frequently, at least until I've told everyone I know and can actually talk about it!!
This week you will be able to take a pregnancy test. You may know you are pregnant if you have done an early test, but will probably not be experiencing morning sickness yet. However you may notice other signs of pregnancy such as changes to your sense of smell. A plug of mucus has sealed your cervix.
Nice!! 48 hours after receiving the news and I think this morning my DOH may have started to come to terms with it... it's been really funny all weekend as I've been slightly obsessive and everytime I've mentioned it his face has gone completely white, and he's spent quite a lot of the weekend in the bathroom...this morning though he definately seems happier about it.
Last night I first 'felt' something different.... we were lying on the sofa watching x factor when I started getting sensations in my boobs!!! How bizarre is that?! It was kind of like little electric shocks behind my nipples...
I'm still trying not to get too 'attached' to my little bean growing inside me... my period isn't even due until tomorrow and it's still very possible that if the hormone levels aren't high enough, that could be the end of it... I just keep praying though. I do believe that God created me this little life so it's up to him to look after it...
It's incredible knowning what's going on in there...
Your baby's brain and the rest of the nervous system have started to develop. Your baby is gently floating in amniotic fluid. The nose, eyes and hands are forming and basic hand 'plates' are present. The heart is now beating strongly at twice your own rate. Blood vessels have formed and a tiny umbilical cord has connected itself to the rapidly developing placenta. Your baby measures around the length of a grain of rice.
Amusingly I've been asked to consider taking two of the elderly people i care for to Portugal next May... it made me nearly burst knowing that by then I'll be days away (God willing) to giving birth!!
I took MIL out on Saturday morning and she was talking about how this Christmas is going to be the best ever and I very nearly told her then, but I'm going to try and restrain myself for another 6-8 weeks or so. I know they're going to be over the moon.
Til later... I suspect I'll be updating quite frequently, at least until I've told everyone I know and can actually talk about it!!
Saturday, 19 September 2009
TWO LINES!!!
THANK YOU GOD!!
This month has felt different, and I've kept hoping and hoping, whilst trying not to get myself too worked up, but this morning I decided to test just in case (even though my period wasn't due until next week). I dipped the little test strip and tucked it under a face cloth sitting on the bathroom windowsill while I went to have a cup of coffee...
5 minutes later I went back and almost through it straight in the bin without looking at it... somehow I hadn't expected in the slightest to see that second line.
How can I describe it? I really do think it was one of the happiest moments of my life before.... I ran down to the bedroom and shouted at DOH to hurry up in the bathroom - then he came out (still half asleep) and I held up the test strip and burst into tears. I think he's in shock! Although he's happy, he's also terrified... he hasn't met my family yet and he thinks my Dad is going to lynch him. I don't think he really believed that it would happen.
The little test is tucked away safely (I've only checked it about, oh, maybe a million times...)
I wish my Mum was home as she's the first person I want to tell.. I don't know how anybody expects me to keep it to myself for another 8 weeks though! I feel like bursting!! I got around it slightly by telling a pharmacist this morning... I've had a really bad cold and I went in to ask which decongestant I can take but I'm going to have to make do with paracetamol (hmm... hope the three bottles of Benylin All in One I've consumed in the last four days haven't done any damage...!!)
So this is it... Please God keep my little bean safe inside me and make it grow big and strong!!
This month has felt different, and I've kept hoping and hoping, whilst trying not to get myself too worked up, but this morning I decided to test just in case (even though my period wasn't due until next week). I dipped the little test strip and tucked it under a face cloth sitting on the bathroom windowsill while I went to have a cup of coffee...
5 minutes later I went back and almost through it straight in the bin without looking at it... somehow I hadn't expected in the slightest to see that second line.
How can I describe it? I really do think it was one of the happiest moments of my life before.... I ran down to the bedroom and shouted at DOH to hurry up in the bathroom - then he came out (still half asleep) and I held up the test strip and burst into tears. I think he's in shock! Although he's happy, he's also terrified... he hasn't met my family yet and he thinks my Dad is going to lynch him. I don't think he really believed that it would happen.
The little test is tucked away safely (I've only checked it about, oh, maybe a million times...)
I wish my Mum was home as she's the first person I want to tell.. I don't know how anybody expects me to keep it to myself for another 8 weeks though! I feel like bursting!! I got around it slightly by telling a pharmacist this morning... I've had a really bad cold and I went in to ask which decongestant I can take but I'm going to have to make do with paracetamol (hmm... hope the three bottles of Benylin All in One I've consumed in the last four days haven't done any damage...!!)
So this is it... Please God keep my little bean safe inside me and make it grow big and strong!!
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Hoping against hope...
Still trying not to get my hopes up too high, but thinking about it literally takes my breath away.
Poor OH is complaining of exhaustion after trying every other day for the last week - and being awakened several times out of his sleep for that purpose :-/
I'm feeling pretty hopeful... this is month 4 of trying and given the statistics it should happen for me in the next month or so... all I can do is pray though (and pray i have been!).
We've had some good news in the last week though, as his ex-wife has accepted a reasonable financial settlement after being making incredibly unreasonable demands for the last year and a half (perhaps something to do with the fact she's lost her job... not that I'd gloat or anything!). It means we've just got some paperwork to sort out and then our home will be properly ours, and we can get on with re-decorating and landscaping and just basically creating a family home.
**fingers crossed for this month**
Poor OH is complaining of exhaustion after trying every other day for the last week - and being awakened several times out of his sleep for that purpose :-/
I'm feeling pretty hopeful... this is month 4 of trying and given the statistics it should happen for me in the next month or so... all I can do is pray though (and pray i have been!).
We've had some good news in the last week though, as his ex-wife has accepted a reasonable financial settlement after being making incredibly unreasonable demands for the last year and a half (perhaps something to do with the fact she's lost her job... not that I'd gloat or anything!). It means we've just got some paperwork to sort out and then our home will be properly ours, and we can get on with re-decorating and landscaping and just basically creating a family home.
**fingers crossed for this month**
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Please let it be this monrth
I've been fairly calm about things so far but I desperately want this to be our lucky month.
I'd always thought that Spring would be the loveliest time to have a baby and May would just be perfect... I can't help but hoping and wishing and praying.
This will be the fourth month we're actively trying and everywhere I go there seem to be babies and women with beautiful swollen tum's... I just want it for myself, and for DOH and for his parents... I think they're as desperate to be grandparents as I am to be a mother (it's the fact she calls herself Granny when talking to the dog that gives it away...)
Please God, if you're listening... knit a tiny new life inside me and keep it safe and strong
I promise to take good care of it, to love it with all my heart and to always do everything I can to ensure it's happiness and security.
I know life isn't fair - I know a woman who has the most beautiful baby now following a drunk one night stand, and I know another woman pregnant with her fourth child when I've never seen her cuddle or kiss or play with her other three...I don't know how that can be part of any master plan for the universe, but please make it my turn next.
I'd always thought that Spring would be the loveliest time to have a baby and May would just be perfect... I can't help but hoping and wishing and praying.
This will be the fourth month we're actively trying and everywhere I go there seem to be babies and women with beautiful swollen tum's... I just want it for myself, and for DOH and for his parents... I think they're as desperate to be grandparents as I am to be a mother (it's the fact she calls herself Granny when talking to the dog that gives it away...)
Please God, if you're listening... knit a tiny new life inside me and keep it safe and strong
I promise to take good care of it, to love it with all my heart and to always do everything I can to ensure it's happiness and security.
I know life isn't fair - I know a woman who has the most beautiful baby now following a drunk one night stand, and I know another woman pregnant with her fourth child when I've never seen her cuddle or kiss or play with her other three...I don't know how that can be part of any master plan for the universe, but please make it my turn next.
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